Marriage in the dictionary is listed "the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc. " and "the legal or religious ceremony that formalizes the decision of two people to live as a married couple, including the accompanying social festivities: to officiate at a marriage." Most religions look at homosexuality as a sin... which means practicing a union of two people of the same sex would be impossible. But, religions also promote love and acceptance... which is what marriage is about. So why count out a certain group of people to practice their love by a legal commitment. Many minority groups have had to struggle with being fully accepted in society. Marriage is a sign of making a permanent commitment to someone you love. Gay citizens just want to love like anyone else does... in their own way.
Studies repeatedly demonstrate that people who marry tend to be better off financially, emotionally, psychologically, and even medically. Marriage is not universally an improvement (women, for example, can actually be worse off in some ways), but it generally is. Because of this, it stands to reason that legalized gay marriage will ultimately prove beneficial for gay individuals. This, in turn, will be better for gay couples, the families of gays, and communities where gays live (Cline, 2011). No one wants to grow old alone. Can you imagine someone telling you that since you do not love a certain way, you can not display your love at all. Perhaps the most important aspect of marriage is that it establishes a legal and social relationship which makes it easier for people to “be there” for each other — economically, emotionally, and psychologically. Most of the rights and privileges that go with marriage are, in fact, ways to help spouses support each other. Married couples are thus much better off than unmarried couples, giving relationships the ability to grow stronger and deeper. No matter if a couple is gay or straight, a bond is something humans long for. Conservatives who usually oppose gay marriage argue, correctly, that stable families are a cornerstone to a stable society. Families are the smallest social unit in society and trends in the family inevitably affect trends in society as a whole — and vice-versa, of course. Allowing gays to marry will help better integrate them and their relationships into society. Ensuring that gay relationships are stable and receive support will benefit the stability of society overall. There is no such thing as traditional marriage. Given the prevalence of modern and ancient examples of family arrangements based on polygamy, communal child-rearing, the use of concubines and mistresses and the commonality of prostitution, heterosexual monogamy can be considered "unnatural” in evolutionary terms. Marriage is said to be about reproduction and starting a family, and since gay couples can't achieve it biologically, they should not be married. What about women or men who are unable to conceive. Should they not be allowed to be married? Should they be allowed to adopt? I feel like any stable home should be able to adopt children. Gay marriage will make it easier for same-sex couples to adopt children. In the US, 100,000 children are waiting to be adopted. A longitudinal study published in Pediatrics on June 7, 2010 found that children of lesbian mothers were rated higher than children of heterosexual parents in social and academic competence and had fewer social problems. A July 2010 study found that children of gay fathers were "as well-adjusted as those adopted by heterosexual parents.” There are still growing children who have no homes and gay couples who would love to have a family.
In our society, we claim we live "under one God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all"... but is it justified to isolate of group of people because they love differently? I doubt gay marriage would increase war... I refuse to believe gay marriage will raise crime and violence rates... but I am sure it could prevent many gay suicides knowing that society accepts them as a human with rights to love how they want.
Marriage is already threatened with high divorce rates (between 40% and 50%) and with 40.6% of babies being born to unmarried mothers in 2008. Allowing same-sex couples to marry would further weaken the institution (Steven, 2012). Gay marriage is incompatible with the beliefs, sacred texts, and traditions of many religious groups. The Catholic Church, Presbyterian Church, Islam, United Methodist Church, Southern Baptist Convention, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, National Association of Evangelicals, and American Baptist Churches USA all oppose same-sex marriage. Expanding marriage to include same-sex couples may lead to churches being forced to marry couples and children being taught in school that same-sex marriage is the same as opposite-sex marriage (Steven, 2012). The church should teach tolerance and acceptance of those who are different because that is what God would want them to do. Instead of worrying about teaching children about same-sex marriage, they should be taught that love is beautiful and that they are all accepted for whom they are. The gay lifestyle is not something to be encouraged, as a lot of research shows it leads to a much lower life expectancy, psychological disorders, and other problems.(Messerli, 2011). Gay marriage would entitle gay couples to typical marriage benefits including claiming a tax exemption for a spouse, receiving social security payments from a deceased spouse, and coverage by a spouse’s health insurance policy. On Dec. 17, 2009, the Congressional Budget Office estimated that the cost to the federal government of extending employment benefits to same-sex domestic partners of certain federal employees (making no mention of additional costs such as Social Security and inheritance taxes) would be $596 million in mandatory spending and $302 million in discretionary spending between 2010 and 2019 (Gullo, 2009). Marriage is not a right. Society can choose to endorse certain types of sexual arrangements and give support in the form of benefits to these arrangements. Marriage was created to allow society to support heterosexual couples in procreation and society can choose not to give the same benefits to same-sex couples. Children of gay marriage grow up in tougher circumstances with acceptance by society and may have a clouded view of gender roles. Some feel same-sex marriage would lead to other outrageous things such as polygamy or bestiality... but honestly, there is no proof of that. We can always come up with "what-ifs".
I find the pros of same-sex marriage outweigh the cons. Though there seem to be valid religious beliefs as to why gay marriage should not exist, many sources did not take time to research facts outside of religion. Many feel like gay marriage will encourage abnormal behavior in other people. Many also argue that gay marriage can increase the gay population to take out. Contrary to belief, gay people have held the same percentage of demographics for years (said to be about 10%)... it is just more recently they are asking for more rights and acceptance. As Steven stated, divorce rates are increasing, but that has nothing to do with gay couples. Many people just marry for the wrong reasons, usually out of obligation for their offspring. If marriage is about reproduction, then infertile couples would not be allowed to marry. Ability or desire to create offspring has never been a qualification for marriage. George Washington, often referred to as "the Father of Our Country,” did not have children with his wife Martha Custis, and neither did four other married US presidents ("Procon.org," 2012). Gay couples usually do not have the same distractions as heterosexual couples until they are ready for it. The gay lifestyle has proven a lower life expectancy, usually stemming from psychological warfare from never being accepted by society. I feel like gay marriage could alleviate a lot of the stress and lack of acceptance gay people feel. And if life expectancy is an issue, than other the pregnant or future mothers with life threatening illness should not have babies either, right? With the way society is, marriage is not valued like it used to be. For instance, celebrities marry and divorce frequently. Saying marriage is for couples to procreate seems a bit ridiculous considering how there are so many single parents. If the church says no one sin is greater than the other, then why don't they condemn single parents for engaging in acts only married people should? Society has desensitized us to accept one idea, yet argue to reject the other. A woman who has multiple kids with multiple other men never had a problem with being married by a church. Researchers have shown that children of gay parents are very well adjusted. The main issues with children having gay parents is society not accepting them because of their family dynamic. At the end of the day, all children are heckled by peers for things they can not control. There has not been research showing children of gay marriage are confused about their own gender roles or sexuality.
Also, outside of a religious view, and from an atheist stand point, the future for gay marriage looks bright. The opposition against same-sex marriage "seem to realize that the cultural, social, and political forces are against them. This is why they are so determined to enact federal laws, and perhaps even constitutional amendments, to prevent gay marriage from being recognized or legalized anywhere in the United States. If cultural, social, and political forces were on their side, this wouldn’t be necessary. What is the future of gay marriage in America? Full legalization and recognition, just as is the case today with interracial and interfaith marriages (Austin, 2011)." Austin goes on to state that "It will take a long time for this to occur — even interracial and interfaith marriages continue to be looked down upon by many in America today. Not even racial integration and equality have come as far as they ideally should have. All of these have been opposed by the same religious and political forces which currently oppose gay marriage, so there is every reason to think that they will have the same success in hindering gay marriage. This means that even after gay marriage is legalized, social and political barriers will continue to be thrown up in front of gay couples and their supporters. In the long term, though, these barriers will fall apart because the bigotry and animosity towards gays will lose the sort of support they currently have. Perhaps progress will be even faster because of the progress made with other minorities thus far in America." Reading from an atheist stand point really was my deciding factor. Stepping outside of religion, and just into pure evidence and facts, gay marriage can not hinder our society.
References:
Cline, A. (2011). About.com. Retrieved from http://atheism.about.com/od/gaymarriage/p/ContraGayMarria.htm
Love and pride. (2005). Retrieved from http://www.loveandpride.com/informationcenter/tips.aspx?categoryid=8
Steven, M. (2012, January 31). Procon.org. Retrieved from http://gaymarriage.procon.org/
Messerli, J. (2011, 11 19). Should same-sex marriages be legalized?. Retrieved from http://www.balancedpolitics.org/same_sex_marriages.htm
Grohol, J. (2011). World of psychology. Retrieved from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/11/09/children-of-gay-parents/
